Monthly Archives: March 2016

Follow the North Star

29 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by in MOMMY MISSIVES

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A few have asked me why Max will be going to high school at North rather than West or a private school as I have been expounding for the past year at least. It wasn’t an easy decision on my part but the right one for Max. A bit of history is needed for my decision process. I went to Catholic elementary school. In 8th grade we had to take the COOP test as they called it back then and apply to four Catholic high schools. I had a 92% or better average all through elementary and high school as evidenced by the report cards my mother kept and I found after she passed away. I applied to Cardinal Spellman, Mother Butler, St. Nicholas of Tolentine and Preston. I made three of them but not Tolentine and that was because they told me I was just too far away to go there. There were a lot of Catholic high schools in the Bronx and most are still there except for my alma mater and a few others. Mother Butler was run as a private school by the Order of the Sacred Heart of Mary nuns. They were not a full part of the New York Archdiocese. High school reputations were prevalent back then as now. Cardinal Spellman was the premier academic school. All the brains went there. Mother Butler was at the extreme opposite of that. It was an all girls’ school and not known for its academic excellence shall we say.

I chose Mother Butler and my parents let me. My sole criterion was that my friends were there already as they were all a year older than me. I had the grades and the goods to do well in Spellman, but there was no way I was going there without my friends.   This is what Max has been asking for and what he should get. I have never been one to raise my kids according to anyone else’s criteria or expectations. I don’t do “keeping up with the Joneses”. Hell, I wouldn’t know the Joneses if I tripped over their fence and landed in their rose bushes.

Mother Butler was such a great progressive school. A few months after I started, we were the only Catholic high school who got rid of the uniform and went to regular clothing. We had what was called modular scheduling like college so we had lots of free time during the day. We were supposed to be in “study hall” in the cafeteria but what a blast that was. The teachers were great and had wonderful latitude in what they could do and were not bound by rigid Archdiocese constraints. I remember I had a vocabulary class. Can you imagine a high school today actually teaching spelling? I am a great speller, it comes naturally to me and always has since I learned how to in first grade. The class bored me to tears and so I missed a lot of it. I got word I was in danger of failing it. I went to the teacher and asked her if she would make a deal with me. I offered to come in after school and take all six tests that I missed in one shot if she would honor the grades and cancel the absences.   She agreed and I passed the class. It was my very own creation of an ‘online’ class in the 70s.   It was my business teacher, Sister Kevin, who sent me to US Customs where I ended up working for over 30 years. She had major connections in the business world.   What a force of nature that woman was! I truly enjoyed high school at MBM and never regretted not going to Spellman.

The other counsel I have been listening to besides Max for the past few weeks, is something my Dad said to me so long ago. It has stayed with me. He said, “ If a kid wants to learn it doesn’t matter where he goes to school. If a kid doesn’t want to learn, it doesn’t matter where he goes to school.”   And that resonated with me and helped me tremendously with this decision. Max is a different kid than Marco in terms of learning. Max enjoys the socialization of the classroom and is a socialized learner. Marco is not a classroom fan and is rather an independent learner like I was. Marco would want to stay home from school if he sneezed. With Max, I can’t even get him to stay home if he’s sick. What about football? Well Max will play the game because he loves it, not because he expects a D1 scholarship out of it. That level requires a lot more work than Max cares to do in the off-season right now and that’s just fine. Maybe it changes in high school and maybe it doesn’t.   Max is also a most coachable kid which is what all seven of the different Head Coaches he’s had in Pop Warner in his eight years there have said. Max can pretty much play for anyone. Whether Max goes to college or not will also be his choice, just as it was Marco’s. I have learned a lot since my early, naïve parenting days of USC or bust. Nowadays, I have the best shot at going to USC as finishing college is a bucket list item of mine, although I would opt for UCLA now.

I also have two of the greatest examples of North High alumni who did and will do wonderful things right next door to me in AJ and Alexa. To deprive Max of being a Saxon like Marco, Alexa and AJ would do more harm than good I think. Younger kids like to follow the traditions of the older ones.

My goal as a parent has always been to have happy kids. Success comes from that. Not the other way around. At the rate they smile in pictures you wouldn’t know they are but I do get reports from their friends that they are reasonably happy, so I am good with that for now. Eventually they will stop being surly teenagers to their mother.

I never regretted my choice of high school. My parents didn’t have to let me choose on my own either. Mother Butler cost three times in tuition what the other schools did at the time. My parents were raising five children and my Dad still let me attend. I rewarded him by graduating in three years. It saved him an entire year’s tuition plus allowed me to graduate with all my friends.  All he had to do is keep his hand in his pocket if he ever came to the school. The criteria for an early graduation was a 95% or above average, taking English 3 in summer school after sophomore year so you met the four year requirement and you had to have a good reason. I told them my Dad’s hand got badly damaged in an accident and I had to go to work early to help support the family. It was sort of true. My Dad did have a terrible accident in 1969 where his hand was cut up pretty bad but he was Ok by then. Yes I know it was a fib, but there was no way in hell I was staying there another year without my friends, plus I was bored out of my mind with school by then despite the grades. The reason really was a formality on their part. It was more about whether you were ready to graduate early and I was. If not, I am thinking they would have asked for some proof!  Anyway, I got to go to the prom with my friends and do all the other senior activities as well. I made the right choice for me and I have to trust that Max is also making the right choice for himself in going to North. GO SAXONS!!!

 

Bruce Week

21 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by in MUSICings

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Bruce week is over now in Los Angeles. It’s like Fashion week with worse clothes but better music. I had to go back to the last concert ever in the Sports Arena Saturday night. It felt like unfinished business to me and one thing I learned is I am too old not to listen to my gut anymore. I knew it would be a different show somehow. The two cover Irish songs done in honor of St. Patty’s day on Thursday would surely be replaced. I had to be there to see with what. The River itself also bothered me. I had to hear it again live. I felt I missed it or at least great parts of it. It happens to us often when we pre-conceive rather than just openly receive.

A great evening Friday night reminiscing with Marjorie and Marietta, the best Bruce fan twins ever, planted the seed to get back there for both Marjorie who had been there on Thursday night and myself. Marietta had just come to town for the Saturday night show and was going to her usual front of the pit place. That woman knows what Bruce is going to do in concert before even he does, I suspect. Marjorie had plans with friends on Saturday night so if they would agree to go to the concert and I could be in charge of trying to find tickets we could pull it off. With my persistence and Marjorie’s magical Springsteen mojo we would be there for sure. If you are ever hanging with her have her tell you her Springsteen family stories from the 80s!! They are epic!!

Saturday morning after sorting out sundry kids and visiting niece and boyfriend, I got busy on the computer. I worked the latest Ticketmaster drops, to no avail. I was going. I knew that much. A call from Marjorie late morning to say they were all in changed my search from one to four tickets. We also did not want floor tickets under any circumstances and no concourse- a tall order eight hours before the show. I began the search on BTX – nothing. Ebay- nothing. Craigslist was the best possibility but also where the counterfeiters lived. I wanted only private party not the big Stub Hub costly ones. Loge tickets there were still going for 600 bucks that day. Problem is if the tickets were too cheap, they were probably too good to be true as well. I devised a little plan to smoke out the counterfeiters. Many good tickets were gone as the people had already sold them. The few I did find, they all were paperless email tickets that they wanted to send me but no actual meet at the arena. These were a bit suspect to me so I told them they needed to take a picture of the barcode and text it to me first. I said I had a friend who worked security at the venue (this part is true at least) and I would send him the picture to test the barcode for authenticity first. Well as you can imagine none of them responded at all to this fine suggestion.

We were getting a bit desperate. My friend, Security Donald, did have a ticket guy but we would have to wait until 7:30 that night to see what he had. Too dangerous really so I continued. Amidst all the supposedly great seats at like face value or 200 bucks there was one ad for four tickets at $595 each. This I knew was legit but also crazy. I do crazy well so I called him. I said, “ You gotta be kidding at that price with the concert a couple of hours away.” He said ‘”Make me an offer.” I said “$200.” He said, “Have a nice day lady and hung up on me.” Boy, that annoyed me. I continued the search on CL. Marjorie and I went back on forth on the plan. Maybe we split up and I find a single ticket and she takes two since four were getting impossible. At that point her friend’s husband was going to stay home. We threw around all sorts of ideas to get us in that door. About an hour or so later, I went back to the $595 guy with a text that said, “ Look if you reduce the price of your tickets at all later today as we get closer to the show, I want first crack at them.” He sent me back a “???” which is a nice way of saying , “what the hell are you talking” about it in text speak. Exasperated, I called him and told him who I was and what I wanted. This time though I realized his accent was purely New York. “Where you from in New York” I asked him –mid argument. “Brighton Beach and you” he asks? “The Bronx.” “Oh my God, my mother went to school at Roosevelt blah blah blah. Yur kiddin’? Well then you should be sellin” these damn tickets to another New Yorker shouldn’t you?” “Ok “ he says, “make me another offer. “ Three hundred”, I pull out of the air. He says “done.” ““Wait I a minute,” I tell him, “I have three other people I have to ask.” He wants to know who I am going with? Are they fans? Stuff like that. Only the biggest fan on the planet I tell him. She danced with Bruce on stage in the 80s, etc etc.

He tells me they are hard copy promoter tickets and he’ll be at the arena tonight to meet me as he is going again to the concert himself. My gut says this is the guy ! Text, text, call,call to Marjorie who decides to go dark on me now cause she is visiting everyone she knows in LA within the next two hours. Finally, “No”, she says “too much.” See if you can get him down to $250!! Sure, sweetie, for you anything!! I do tell her though that I want this ticket cause its Arena 28 (or so I thought). So I’ll try but if I can get me just one, they can wait for Donald maybe as that is the last resort at this point. I call Scalper Scott back. I tell him look they can’t pay more than $250. He thinks and says $1100 for all 4. I said no then but would he split off the tickets and sell me just one of his for $300 and I can try and get them other ones from another guy we are dealing with. Sure he says. By now we bonded as only transplanted New Yorkers in a sea of sunshine can.

Back to Marjorie I go with the plan. I will take the one ticket although I soooo wanted to sit with Marjorie this time around and we will try for three with Donald. About ten minutes later Scalper Scott calls me back. ‘Awww he says I can’t have you not sitting with your friends. Ok I’ll do theirs for 250 so you can stay together.” You are just the damn best, Scalper Scott, aren’t you? So back I go again to Marjorie, more darkness and not the good Springsteen kind, and the deal is done except I now look at the CL post again and realize they are loge 28 not arena.   Still great seats as Stub Hub would tell you. So I call Scott back and said hey, no way now I am paying $300 for mine, you have to knock off another $50 cause I read your ad wrong. He started laughing so hard and said done deal and told me I am quite the negotiator. Ten minutes later the chair in my office starts to wobble and I am on the floor. The chair seat snapped right off the office chair pole. I got nothing for that occurrence.

I got a call from Donald’s guy around 5pm and when I told him the tickets I had he said he couldn’t come close to that deal, that tickets were getting real tight as people were starting to come out from all over to go to the show.

I meet Scalper Scott at Will Call around 7pm. I throw my arms around him, give him a big hug and greeting like the long lost friends we aren’t for the benefit of any cop looking for scalpers. He’s a great big teddy bear of a guy who reminds me like crazy of my great friend Norton from Queens all those years ago. Funniest guy on the planet bar none.

The music starts a little after eight. Did I mention I love The River? Did I mention that Drive All Night was the most astounding, heartbreakingly beautifully done, tears a rolling song of the night? Did I mention how perfect it was to see Marjorie’s face in rapture singing along and dancing? At one point I turned to her and said, “we want to kill Patti off so we can be her right?” She smiled and nodded.   Thursday night’s annoyance at ‘why the hell (fill in the song) instead of Jungleland was a driving force of why I just felt like I had to go back Saturday night. Jungleland preceded Thunder Road Saturday night. Is there anything above heaven? Cause if so this was it.

As I was walking out the gate I texted Donald to say thank you and as I was waiting on his reply I looked up and ran right into him. He left his backstage post to come out and help with a situation. We hugged and he gave me his Thursday night backstage Bruce sticker pass as a souvenir along with a few more T-shirts!

My drive home after midnight down Western Avenue from the Coliseum to Torrance at 60mph with the best-synchronized green lights I ever had was pure joy after a Bruce concert. No mansions of glory on this ride. Although I did wonder where the hell all the cops were a few times.

Post script: I took several video clips of the concert that night. I even sent one to a friend during the show. When I got home that night around 1am or so I started watching the clips as I wanted to send one to my sister in Italy. Wait let me add this little nugget. My sister who lives in Italy and is going out with the biggest European Bruce fan now tells me she saw Bruce once in 1985 with her then boyfriend Mike but left early cause they didn’t want to hit traffic?? WHO ARE YOU, I ASK HER?? First, you didn’t ask me to go to the concert back then?? Second you are 24 years old at the time and you cared about TRAFFIC?? Go see Bruce this year on his European tour with your boyfriend and atone for those sins!

Back to the clips. I pulled up a clip to see which song it was on my phone and the sound was gone from the clip. Completely gone. I tried all the rest of the clips. The sound was gone from all of them. What the HELLLL!!!! I said that’s impossible. My friend earlier would have told me if the sound was gone on what I sent him. O come on I thought, my IPHONE is going to go out now of all times and lose the sound on these concert clips?? It was near 2am. I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and tried the clips again. The sound was fine. With tears and laughter, I knew my new Guardian AnJel was taking care of business as usual! Thanks, kid! And I also conquered my reluctance to go to shows in big arenas. I wonder Who’s Next?

 

Musical Flipping Heaven

18 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by in MUSICings

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My post concert missive.   I am no more a fan of the “The River” than I was yesterday before I attended the concert. But to stay that it wasn’t phenomenal isn’t correct either. I get why The River. You get to a certain age, the 60s in this case, and it gives you pause for reflection to see where you have been really so you can see where you are headed. I heard that in the Bruce speak last night in between songs. Meager if you compare it to previous concerts though. I love his concerts and I have no discernment in terms of this one is better or worse than that one. When I am there they are all beyond spectacular and he surely didn’t disappoint last night. I’ll play a game this morning and maybe you want to as well. Turn The River into a single album and pick the songs.

I had an interesting seat companion last night. If you look out into a Bruce concert audience you truly see a sea of white faces. And by that I mean in complexion color not necessarily nationality . This is not an indictment of his music, on the contrary you know he is as non-racist as you can get. I suspect it is simply musical taste when it comes to black people liking his music. In the seat near mine was this black woman. Maybe in her 50s with the coolest T Shirt that read, ‘ This Girl loves her Bruce Springsteen” in hot pink letters on a black T shirt.

I am trapaphobic. Yes, I made that up to explain it cause it is not about small spaces or elevators. I can go into panic attacks if a person’s knees near me touch the seat in front of them thereby blocking any visible escape route next to me. I don’t ever take anything but aisles seats in theaters and on planes and in restaurant booths. Her seat was the third one in and mine was the fourth. I bought the tickets anyway knowing this and just figured I will deal with it by staying in the aisle the whole time. The security guard had other ideas. I asked the woman if she would trade seats with me. It would get her one seat closer towards the stage and me one seat closer to the aisle and away from her very large knees touching the seat in front completely. She said ‘no’ and she was just sitting there looking so kind of annoyed maybe the whole time. I took my seat and nothing happened. I waited. No panic attack. Nothing. Years ago a great doctor gave me a book instead of a pill to help and it did. Two things I learned. You must go through panic attacks not around them and you need to bring them on yourself so you can control them and get rid of them. It works most of the time just fine. Anyway I did that last night. Nothing, no panic.

Then the music started and it was totally forgotten, knees, seats and all. It was so fun though to see this lady just come to life, dancing, singing along, smiling. At one point she turned to me to ask if I as OK. Very cool she was.

A long time friend and former employee of mine worked backstage security last night and has for concerts for near 20 years. He has seen everyone in concert. He is black. He told me he was blown away by Bruce’s concert and by how nice a guy he is. No surprise there. So nice of my Donald to greet me last night with some Bruce T shirts. Of course I had to apologize this morning for calling him every 5 minutes last night after the show to get me backstage. He was a good sport about it this morning.

What a night and what energy. Yes the songs are a bit slowed down and rearranged to a degree more fitting with a 60 something energy level but that doesn’t matter at all. It is NOT the same thing as seeing some old group that can barely squeak out the hits from years ago.. His show is fresh and new no matter what and his energy level for the time is always over the top. Badlands, Promised Land, Thunder Road ( of course my camera dies during my favorite song) Rosalita, The Rising, Born to Run, 10the Avenue, Dancing in the Dark, and more and the final rousing rendition of Shout. I pretty much won’t venture into an arena concert for anyone anymore but Bruce. Hell I’ll be there for his show when he’s 80!

 

 

 

Bruce Who?

17 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by in MUSICings

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To those who stopped by and read my first post, “To AJ” thank you!! It still is here, you just scroll down to previous post. Please remember though if you continue to stop by and read, that this is nothing more than my very own little journal and not the Carnegie course on how to make friends and influence people. Thanks for stopping by!

Bruce JUmp

Tonight I will see Bruce (If you have to ask the title question to ascertain the last name, perhaps this isn’t an entry you will want to read) again for the ? time.   Boy I wish I knew how many. Write things down now kids, let that be a lesson to you.     I do know the last time I saw him was 2008. It stays with me as my friend Kim and I took our sons AJ (15) and Marco (10) to their very first Bruce concert. And for Marco his very first concert ever!!

The River Tour today reminds me not so much of the Bruce concerts I saw in the past but of those that I missed. I am not a fan of the “The River,” not sure I even ever listened to it through but once. Yes I know “Independence Day ” is on it, most likely an accident. To this week’s repeated attempts by friend Sandi and Jacki’s husband to get me to listen to it I asked, “Why bother I am going to hear the whole thing Thursday night”.   But as Sandi pointed out- she by listening to it beforehand will be able to sing along. Obviously she has never heard me sing. Trust me no one in that arena will want me singing along to anything.

The reason I guess I missed so many Bruce concerts and that I am not much of a River fan is twofold. First the River came out in 1980. I did not become a Bruce fan until 1984. Same year I became a disco fan. Nowadays Bruce AND Bob fans are common but not in Queens or the Bronx in 1975. It was Bruce OR Bob. He was considered a musical heretic. Nothing but a flash in the pan and Dylan wanna be to be discounted as having a colossal nerve to be pretender to this sacred throne. Or at least that is how the sentiment went with musical purists boyfriend/friends at the time plus a large number of the mainstream musical media as well. Triple alliterations are my favorite. There is historical reference to back this up in both of Dave Marsh’s books on Bruce, “Glory Days” (which I have but am too lazy to look it up now) and am reasonably sure in his first Bruce book “Born to Run…” which I cannot look up, not because of laziness but because it is no longer on my bookshelf. I suspect perhaps my friend and former roommate Andy made off with this tome as well. The only difference between a library and me is that at least the library gets its books back eventually.   In 1980 when The River was released and “Hungry Heart” was released as the single, I was not a fan. Back then of course they played it ad nauseum on the few FM stations we had to listen to music on. No getting away from it like you can nowadays with ITUNES and IPHONES and PODS and PANDORA and the satellites. Way too much selection if you ask me. OK off topic. Anyway so while I think it’s a great song now, I wasn’t real thrilled about hearing “Hungry Heart” over and over and over again on the radio in 1980.

I never saw a Bruce concert in New York at all. I had to go 3000 miles to see someone who was across the river and the GW Bridge. But then again us New York kids never went to Jersey unless your parents dragged you to relatives or your father made you wash knives at 6am on a Saturday morning. Don’t ask.

My first time seeing Bruce was 1992 at the LA Sports Arena and so I am thrilled to be going back there tonight with some of the very same friends who introduced me to it all those years ago. It was and still is the most astounding concert I had ever seen and that includes the Who’s last tour with Keith Moon. I liked many of Bruce’s other concerts through the years other than Tunnel of Love/The album that begins with an M that I can never remember. But that’s OK cause I didn’t like anything from his fancy Philips phase (alliteration trifecta) including the Bonanza outfit on the Tunnel album cover. Tom Joad? Well just ok. I just don’t care for “quiet E Streetless Bruce” as much and besides if I want quiet, I’ll go see Leonard instead.   So tonight as long as I get “ Thunder Road” and a couple from “Darkness…” my favorite Bruce album, I’m good!

 

 

To AJ..Again

15 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by in TO AJ

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A year gone by already.   Too quickly and not fast enough.  Rest in Musical Peace dear AJ. We love you and miss you every day. It was because of you, I started this blog. I thank you for that and a hundred other things along the way this year.  For you, with tears and laughter.

Fun and Funeral are not two words we often find in the same sentence or even in the same paragraph, but the February 28th Celebration of Life for our dear friends’ and neighborhoods’ 23 year old son recently killed in a tragic car accident is about as close any anyone will ever get. A musician at heart, what a fantastic display of the best music has to offer. Playing his favorite songs in tribute by his sister (first time ever on stage and she does it here in front of all these people- a rock star by anyone’s definition) and then friends, cousins and co-workers all taking the time and the stage to honor him musically!! I loved the enthusiasm by Kate of “Angel from Montgomery” fame who got the crowd on their feet whether they knew the song or not!

Andy and Renee pulled off a masterful organization of speeches and music and kept the whole thing running beautifully. My two sons who grew up with AJ wept from start to until yours truly got up to say a few words in remembrance. I was glad and honored to do so. Dave T and his band Dry September gave a stunning performance of his very own “Free Me”, one of the best songs ever written! So much great music and capped with all of AJ’s family on the stage for a rousing finale of American Pie! And here is an expanded version of my few words honoring a boy I have known since he was 9 months old.

I have had the pleasure and the privilege of a front row seat in watching AJ grow from a 9 month old baby to a wonderful young man. Andy, Craig and I moved in to the house next door to them in April of 1993. My Mom and Dad were out here from New York helping us to move in. My Dad struck up a conversation with Tony’s Dad, Ray in the driveway. Next thing I know, my mother is telling me I have to go out and meet the neighbors. Eyes rolling in annoyance, I said, “ What are you doing? This is LA not the Bronx, we don’t talk to our neighbors”! But out I went and there was Kim holding this beautiful blond baby boy. Heads nodded perfunctorily, cute a baby, nice! My next recollection of AJ and probably the time we truly became good friends for life was a few years later when he was about 2, I guess. The four of us and AJ went to the Orange County Fair. This was Craig and I’s first time there. Late in the day we went and sat in the chairs at the stage area where the bands performed. I remember Craig and I playing with AJ and just having the best time. His smile was something else. We played peekaboo and hide and seek and all those silly games you do with a baby. He just laughed and laughed and ran around and was absolutely adorable.

My next strong memory is his debut at one of our Dylan parties. He got up there in his blue choir robe with about another 10 to 15 adults and just wailed away on Stuck Inside of Mobile, harmonica and all. AJ didn’t go to the back of the row or off to the side. No, he was right there next to Fuzzy, the lead singer on this, front and center and just sang his little heart out with such concentration. Wow I was amazed at the courage of this little one to get up there like it was the most natural thing in the world. And then came the other three- Marco, Alexa and Max. AJ became our oldest and Max our baby and “MarcoandAlexa” was just one word for many years. We raised these four kids together as neighbors and friends often do. I couldn’t possibly mention all the school events, the plays, the sports, the birthday parties, and the rest of the things that make up childhoods shared! We made quite a team Kim and I. I taught her kids how to make mud soup and she taught mine how to do a surgical scrub. They truly got the best of both worlds I like to think. When Marco was about 5 or 6 and AJ about 10 or 11, he invited Marco to the big boy table- to play video games. Now back then when I was a good mother, I was horrified. O no, my baby playing video games, how bad for him. Well Marco wanted to do nothing else but play Video games… to this day. Now often when you have family or friends and kids in common, you do lots of hand me downs, usually clothes, things like that. Not with these neighbors!! We got hand me down electronics! The day AJ got his Playstation 2, Marco got handed down his PS 1.

Running around with a bat. That’s what I see next. We used to have this yellow whiffle ball bat that the kids loved to play with in my yard. Marco and Alexa used to tease AJ and he would playfully run around the backyard chasing them with it. Now the normal thing would be to worry about an 11 year old doing some bodily harm, but that was the furthest from my mind watching this and laughing. AJ was the sweetest, kindest, gentlest kid you could imagine and you never had to worry about anything like that with him.

Helpful above and beyond: that’s another memory of AJ I hold. AJ came to help when he was in middle school and high school at all the book fairs, family picnics, winter festivals, and holiday programs we had at the elementary school for the younger ones. You could always count on him to be there for us no matter what kind of PTA help we needed. He was such a great, great kid and teenager.

Now you all may know AJ the musician and the audio engineer, but I’d like to tell you about his short stint as a football coach. If you know AJ, you know he has spent exactly zero hours ever watching Monday Night or any other night football. When he was 16 though and Max was 7 and starting to play flag football, I needed some assistant coaches. Uncle Kenny was going to be the head coach and I called AJ and said I got a great idea! You need volunteer hours and I need a football coach. It’s a win-win. AJ didn’t even bat an eye. Yeah sure, I’ll do it! Ok I said, pick a friend to do it with you and ah maybe you should pick one that knows the game. And he did it for two seasons. He picked his friend Jake who actually played the game. We had so much fun and laughs. AJ went at it with his usual full on enthusiasm. He went big on this one. He would run the kids and make then do drills. Max would come home whining that “AJ is being mean, he makes us run a lot” . Hilarious! When the Panthers gave the staff banquet that year, AJ was the only one who would come with me. They served this hideous lasagna from some type of can and boy did we laugh our asses off that night over it!!

My next project for AJ was babysitter to our dog Moe Moe when AJ was 17 years old. We turned over our house to him during Spring break each year when we went to visit Grandma Anita or as Kim liked to call her “Grandma Margaret”. A master class in politeness, my mother in law is. She used to come visit us every year and even several times a year when all our kids were small. Kim called her Grandma Margaret for the longest time and Grandma never corrected her in all that time. Finally one day Kim asked me something about Grandma Margaret. “Who the hell is that I asked?” We laughed over that for years and Kim and I still refer to her as Grandma Margaret to each other. I digress as usual. I know of no other teenager on this planet who you can turn over a house to and find it still standing when you return in even better shape than when you left it. My 18 year old certainly wouldn’t do that. In fact, I asked AJ to babysit not only Moe Moe but Marco too last year. What a testament to what a great kid AJ is. And this he did for me right up until last year when we went to Italy and New York. And then they graduate high school and go out into the world and you don’t see them as often. A ‘hello’ in the driveway, a Hi, how you doin’? But nothing more really and that’s as it should be. Nothing like being in your 20s and discovering all the world has to offer.

Christmas of 2014 before AJ got his dream job he was working two jobs in Bevmo and Gamestop. Wow AJ I said to him before Christmas you can get me discounts on alcohol and video games- you pretty much got my life sewed up. The boys were getting new XBOX Ones that year and AJ took my list of games and bought them for me at Gamestop with his discount. He would come over every few days excited about the great deal he got on this game or the other one. He was relentless at making sure he got me the best price. I love that kid!!

For years Tony was our go to guy for any computer or TV or tech type problems but in recent years, Kim started telling me to call AJ especially for any MAC problems as we were all APPLES by then. I remember early 2015, I had just spent a ridiculous amount of time on the phone with Apple only to have nothing accomplished. I called AJ and he and Rian came right over and in like 5 minutes fixed the problem. “Damn, I said I am calling Apple and telling them to hire you two as you are way better than those morons they have working for them.” They laughed and AJ used to love my stories of fighting with some customer service group or other.

My last conversation with AJ was on the same subject actually. I could not find a way to burn DVDs anymore on my MAC. I knew it was there when I bought the damn computer four years ago but for the life of me I couldn’t find it today.  So I texted AJ as he was at work and asked if when he had time he could help me with this. He called me back in like ten minutes from work. And he walked me through all sorts of steps to find it and we were both baffled that we didn’t. Uh oh, his bosses are out there maybe I shouldn’t have told you he was doing this from work. On second thought, not a whole lot you can do about it now.  Anyway we found out that it was the stupid Apple upgrades that got rid of it and we were each working off a different version so that’s why he had the capability and I didn’t. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you- stay away from those pesky upgrades.

A few days after AJ died, I went out to my MAC and wanted to look for some pictures. I clicked on the IPHOTO icon and nothing happened. I got a pop up box that said no such application. That’s crazy I said, nothing happens to IPHOTO, I have 4500 pictures in there and I was in there just recently. I clicked it again and same thing. I looked down at where the icon is supposed to be and it was a white triangle with a darker white circle in it. Weird huh. Stop messing with me AJ was the first thought that popped into my head. I restored it back with Time Machine that I only recently started using cause AJ insisted on it last time I had a problem and on we went.   To throw a pretty, plate of platitudes at you now would just be a waste of time I think. There is no reason for this but a tragic accident. There is no way to live with this other than finding a new way to breathe. I love you kid!